Bob Geldof
Lost in showbiz
Someone
landlock Bob Geldof – he’s Ed Stoned the referendum
Just
when the pro-EU side was looking more dignified than its rivals,
Geldof and his stupid mates on their stupid boat threw its chances
overboard
Stuart Heritage
@stuheritage
Thursday 16 June
2016 12.32 BST
Remember the Ed
Stone? Of course you do. It’s the reason we don’t have a Labour
government at the moment. The Ed Stone was a harrowing, ill-judged,
two-tonne PR stunt forged in the fires of superhuman hubris. It was
so brazenly awful that it effectively ended the election in a
heartbeat.
This week’s
Farage-fronted Brexit booze cruise deserved to be this referendum’s
Ed Stone. The whole thing was too dumb to live; a mangled last-ditch
folly led by a guy dressed for all the world like the fifth-place
runner-up in a Come to Work as a Pebble Mill Presenter competition.
It should have been a line in the sand; the moment when this
country’s rational majority realised it couldn’t possibly align
itself with such an embarrassing bunch of twerps.
And then the remain
campaign messed everything up by fielding its own embarrassing twerp,
Bob Geldof. Bloody Bob Geldof and his stupid mates on their stupid
boat with their stupid sound system and their stupid V-signs,
dragging remain down to the moronic level of its stupid rival.
Everything was so nicely lined up – the pro-EU camp was starting to
look like the dignified side, the side that could rise above the fray
by not getting drunk on a dinghy at 10.30 in the morning – and then
bloody Bob Geldof cocked it all up for everyone by joining in.
To be honest, we
should have seen this coming. Geldof has consistently been the least
fun part of anything he has ever been involved in. Readers
unfortunate enough to remember the Live 8 benefit concert will no
doubt still cringe at the moment when Geldof delayed the long-awaited
Pink Floyd reunion by mooching onstage and belting out a version of I
Don’t Like Mondays that sounded as if it were being performed by a
dog in a bin. Or any of his short-lived political films inserted into
The Big Breakfast purely to deprive each episode of joy. Or the way
he indirectly acted as inspiration for Razorlight. Make no mistake,
the man is a full-blown liability.
Labour lost the
general election because the Conservatives didn’t try to respond to
the Ed Stone. They knew that public derision was enough. The worst
thing they could do, they realised, was build their own retaliatory
Ed Stone out of papier-mache, and bung it down in front of the
original Ed Stone, and then bellow insults at Ed Miliband through a
bullhorn. And yet that is exactly what Geldof did this week.
As a result, the
defining image from Wednesday – the image that made the front page
of this very paper the following morning – wasn’t Nigel Farage
boarding the boat next to a “CAUTION: SLIPPERY” sign. No, it was
Geldof and his band of tubby gonks leaning over the side of their
boat, looking like a bunch of retired Russian football hooligans
hamfistedly attempting to recreate the US Marine Corps War Memorial
statue. Geldof has ruined the referendum. The campaign to have him
indefinitely landlocked starts here.
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