Suella
Braverman shows her slightly softer side on LBC radio
John Crace
Although
less combative than usual, the former home secretary moaned about migration and
said she would vote Trump
Tue 23 Jul
2024 17.37 BST
Attention.
Do not adjust your radio sets. Normal service will be resumed shortly.
Fair to say
that most listeners tuning in to LBC at 10am on Tuesday morning would have been
in for a shock. Regular presenter James O’Brien was off on his hols and in his
place was Suella Braverman. From the beating heart of liberal Britain to the
rightwing dog whistle of the Tory party. And no one sounded more surprised than
Suella herself. “James must be having a heart attack,” she said nervously at
the start.
Or maybe
not. Because the Suella we got was quite different to the one we are accustomed
to. I mean, obviously she was wrong on most things – you wouldn’t expect
anything else – but this was a far softer Suella. Less noisy, less combative,
less unpleasant. Someone who not only made an effort to sound interested in
what listeners had to say but at times reached out to meet them halfway. A
Suella that has gone unseen for the last eight years.
It made you
think. Which is the real Suella? The one that could pick a fight in an empty
room. The one who is never happier than when marginalising the most vulnerable
groups in society. Or was this only ever an act? A performance to stir up
division. Had there always been a caring Suella lying buried inside? Or is she
lost to herself entirely? A politician without empathy. Someone who will just
give her audiences what she thinks they want.
The first
hour was taken up with illegal immigration. Something Braverman considers to be
her specialist subject. She began with an apologia. The Tories hadn’t delivered
on stopping the boats. But that was Rishi Sunak’s fault. She had tried to put
in place the Rwanda plan but had been thwarted at every turn. Her only
motivation had been her compassion. A desire to find a better life for people
who had been fleeing persecution. Just so long as that better place wasn’t the
UK.
Awad from
Barnet pointed out that Rwanda wasn’t quite the safe country Suella tried to
claim it was. Rwanda had sent death squads over the border into the Congo. The
international courts had also declared Rwanda not to be safe. There was that,
said the new, improved Suella as someone in the studio held up a sign saying
“Try not to insult the audience”. But on the other hand, she had heard of
someone who had moved to Rwanda a few years ago who had set up a convenience
store. So, on balance, Rwanda was probably safe. Thank you and goodbye, Awad.
Next on the
line was Gerald from Whitley Bay. He couldn’t believe his good luck that James
was away for the week and wasted no time in telling Suella she was spot on. We
just needed to send all the asylum seekers back to France. Brilliant idea,
Suella agreed. She couldn’t understand why so many EU countries were making
life so much more difficult for the UK after we voted for Brexit. After all,
Brexit was supposed to help us take back control. Just no one told the EU.
Other
callers pointed out that Suella had always known the Rwanda plan had only ever
been an unworkable gimmick and that leaving the European convention on human
rights would make us an international pariah. Braverman thanked them profusely
for their contributions and observed that illegal migration was a much more
complex problem than many people think. No shit. Suella included. She also
insisted that it was perfectly OK to have an opinion on something even if you
don’t know what you are talking about. It was her mantra as home secretary,
after all.
For the
second hour, Braverman wanted to talk about the US presidential election.
Having returned from the “alt-right” National Conservatism conference in
Washington a couple of weeks ago, she now considers herself to be a world
expert on US politics.
“Let me get
the ball rolling,” she said. “If I was an American I would be voting for Donald
Trump.” Kamala Harris was just a dangerous, ineffectual lefty while the Donald
could be guaranteed to end all wars in an instant. It was as if Suella had just
swallowed a stupidity pill and was merely repeating back what Trump had said at
the Republican convention.
Unsurprisingly
almost no one agreed with Braverman. One by one the counter arguments came in.
What about the fact Trump was a proven liar and a sexual abuser? What about the
fact that he had been found guilty of 34 felony counts? What about the fact
that he had instigated the riot on Capitol Hill by claiming the election had
been rigged? What about his support for Putin?
“Ah yes,”
said Suella. There was all this. But really the election was about forgetting
all the bad stuff and just concentrating on the fact that the Donald was at
heart the perfect role model. At the very least, he could be trusted not to do
anything on the climate crisis. I guess that clinches it.
Moving on.
We ended with a conversation on the future direction of the Tory party. Here
Suella appeared to have undergone a personality change. Only on Monday she had
been screaming from the roof tops not to send the Conservatives down the dead
end street of the ‘One Nation cranks’. Now her language was far more moderate.
So much so that she didn’t think to mention that she was planning to run for
the leadership herself. Or maybe someone has had a word with her.
Suella began
with her own diagnosis of the problem. The Tories had drifted too far to the
centre, she said. The idea that after 14 years of everything getting steadily
worse, the country might have had enough had not occurred to her. Nor that
people might not be so forgiving of Boris Johnson’s lies and parties or Liz
Truss’s kamikaze budget. It was the selective memory of a halfwit. The lurch to
the right of Reform. Or as Braverman would put it. The move to the middle
ground.
Then the
surprise. “I believe in compassion and fairness,” she said to a trans caller.
“Live and let live. Everyone deserves to feel safe.” Words no one had ever
heard her speak before. She sounded like someone who cared. Close your eyes and
she could have been James O’Brien himself. A paid up member of the Wokerati.
Rachel didn’t believe her. You’re just a scaremonger, she said. Suella didn’t
give up. “Are you getting the support you need?”
That just
left enough time for a couple of callers to say the Conservatives were dead in
the water and should merge with Reform, before Ross phoned in to ask where
former Tories like him who believed in international law and being nice to
people were supposed to go. Suella shrugged. The Lib Dems perhaps.
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