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Eggs,
hats and unfettered ambition: what we learned about Melania Trump from her
documentary
The first
lady’s political goals, high-stakes clothes fittings and hints that she and
Donald still have sex are just some of the highlights from Brett Ratner’s
documentary
Catherine
Shoard
Catherine
Shoard
Fri 30
Jan 2026 16.13 CET
She has
no friends but everyone who works for her dresses like her
Melania’s
appears an entirely airless existence, in which she glides solo about gilt
corridors in silence, David Lynch-style, observed by tight-lipped heavies. All
her staff dress in deference to her, mostly in black, but sometimes – as in the
case of her interior designer – in a matching camel-coloured three-piece suit.
Candidates interviewing for assistant roles have also got the memo, lining up
in a sea of monochrome, with buttery hair and prominent cross necklaces.
She
dislikes anything baggy
About 30%
of the film is devoted to high-stakes fittings for her inauguration outfits.
“My creative vision is always clear and it’s my responsibility to share it with
my team so they can bring it to life,” Melania explains in voiceover. This
translates to her telling them to cinch stuff in. “More tension, tighter,” she
commands a collar. A coat needs to skim nearer her hips. A hat brim is
reprimanded as “a little bit wiggly-woggly”. “I don’t know if we can cut it,”
frets one assistant tailor about a blouse, to stressed violins on the
soundtrack.
She’s
uninterested in catering
While we
are told that Melania is apparently in charge of everything about the
inauguration-adjacent parties, we learn nothing of the menu save for the fact
that the appetiser at one ball will be a golden egg, placed in an eggcup, on a
plate. The first lady has no notes about this – what has laid it, whether it’s
actually edible, if something alongside it might be nice – other than approval
of its colour. She never eats or drinks.
She’s a
gifted interior designer
“It’s
important that timeless elegance shines through every element,” Melania shares
of the planning of one ball, while giving approval to invites being posted out
in gigantic red envelopes, such as a primary school class might choose to send
their lists to Santa in bulk. She’s insistent rugs are cleaned and furniture
steamed in the brief window between the Biden’s leaving the White House and the
Trumps trooping back in. Other evidence of her expert touch comes in a glimpse
of Renoir’s black-and-white-tastic La Loge, which occupies a wall of her
office. It’s a print: the real thing is in the Courtauld Gallery in London.
She and
Donald are very close
At one
moment, Melania places her hand on her husband’s waist in a careful and
significant gesture that is movie-shorthand for “we still have sex”. Filmgoers
can also witness their continued passion when Donald attempts to negotiate her
big hat and lean in for a kiss. “Nobody has endured what he has endured over
the past few years,” she reports in sympathetic voiceover. But for most of the
film, the couple are apart. He phones her at one point to brag about some sort
of immense domestic political victory. “Great, well done,” she says, in the
manner of someone trying to get a cold-caller off the line.
She and Barron are very close
Melania’s
son says not a word in the film, but is seen in much of the final reel, bending
gently like he’s cosplaying Igor. At one point his proud parents discuss him in
the back of a limo. “He’s cute, we have cute conversations,” says the
president. “Yeah, I love him,” his mother reveals.
Her
favourite artist is Michael Jackson
“I met
him once with Donald,” she tells the film’s director Brett Ratner in the back
of a limo on the way to Mar-a-Lago. “He was very sweet, very nice.” Her
favourite songs are Billie Jean and Thriller, she adds, before she and Ratner
briefly duet on the former, like Carpool Karaoke on the highway to hell.
She’s
really at home in black
The 20
days shown in the film include one spent at Jimmy Carter’s funeral and an
afternoon at a memorial ceremony at Arlington cemetery. All coverage of the
former is devoted entirely to a meditation on mourning her own mother, who died
a year ago that day. It includes a very lengthy sequence in which she books out
St Patrick’s Cathedral in New York so she can stalk around in private reverie,
watched by stony security guards and grinning priests. At Arlington cemetery
meanwhile, she cuts an unmistakably mafioso figure, striding in stilettos
beneath a brolly and nodding significantly at strangers. The perkiest she gets
during inauguration day itself is when she’s walking through a crypt.
Amazon
gets some of its money’s worth
Whatever
they’re losing in profits and credibility through distributing the film, Amazon
head Jeff Bezos is at least glimpsed a couple more times in the movie than his
tech mogul peers. That said, there’s a leg up for Apple CEO Tim Cook also as
Melania makes video calls about campaigns to limit children’s screen time on
her MacBook Air (raised to eye level on a copy of her autobiography).
Melania
is not apolitical
As well
as constantly referring to herself as a world leader, and lengthy pre-credits
title cards totting up her accomplishments, Melania makes a number of dramatic
statements about her ambitions in office. These include the desire to “break
all norms”, totally reinvent the role of first lady and consider how lawmakers
might better do their jobs – something she thinks about “constantly”. Judging
by the genuflection of those around her, such a self-image is not entirely
unwarranted. “I’ll go everywhere with you, no problem,” Brigitte Macron tells
her over video call – and she does mean policies, not sightseeing. Nor is
Melania above including snarky shots of her husband’s predecessors: we see
Barack Obama looking downcast at the inauguration, and Kamala Harris mardy
while checking her watch.
Melania
will not revolutionise cinema
Anticipation
was high that the sum ($28m) paid by Melania to herself for not just starring
in the film but producing it and overseeing much of the post-production,
including the trailer and marketing, might result in something fresh for an
art-form struggling to surface new voices. Sadly, such hopes will be dashed.
Melania turns one of the most politically significant moments in recent history
into an exhaustingly boring and chillingly vain autohagiography. Towards the
end, Melania says of inauguration day: “Today was so rich with meaning, and
since each moment was historic and filled with purpose, time no longer
mattered.” It feels like a disclaimer for a film that demonstrates nothing of
the former and feels like it lasts for ever.
Being an
enigma suited Melania
Even
unkind speculation can be more flattering than airbrushed honesty. In the case
of Melania Trump, charging people for a peek behind the veil may not have been
a clear-sighted move.
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